New and Improved

New and Improved

Coming soon to a Blog near You

Where’s the Wreath?

Part II

Complete with prizes for sharp-eyed readers and lovers of poor photography everywhere.

(Repaired after General Mayhem ate a vast quantity of quite disgusting decades old candy and lived to tell the tale.)

Details will be announced soon.

On the First Day of Preschool, the Teacher Gave to Me...

As many of you know, Captain Chaos attends Apathy Elementary School to receive Speech and Occupational Therapy. This year she is attending pre-school two days each week, for three hours each day. That is the least amount of time we could arrange. Tuesday was her first day of school. In honor of that day, I wrote The Twelve First Days of School, sung to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas. Follow along…



On the first day of school, Captain’s teacher gave to me, a warning that head lice are in her room.


On the first day of school, Captain’s teacher gave to me, a supply list for the whole class, and a warning that head lice are in her room.


On the first day of school, Captain’s teacher gave to me, a request to meet with the school psychologist, a supply list for the whole class, and a warning that head lice are in her room.


On the first day of school, Captain’s teacher gave to me, a sign-up sheet to be a room parent, a request to meet with the school psychologist, the supply list for the whole class, and a warning that head lice are in her room.


On the first day of school, Captain’s teacher gave to me, advice to stave-off head lice, a sign-up sheet to be a room parent, a request to meet with the school psychologist, a supply list for the whole class, and a warning that head lice are in her room.


On the first day of school, Captain’s teacher gave to me, an application for the PTA, advice to stave-off head lice, a sign-up sheet to be a room parent, a request to meet with the school psychologist, a supply list for the whole class, and a warning that head lice are in her room.


On the first day of school, Captain’s teacher gave to me, a suggestion to enroll her in another school, an application for the PTA, advice to stave-off head lice, a sign-up sheet to be a room parent, a request to meet with the school psychologist, a supply list for the whole class, and a warning that head lice are in her room.


On the first day of school, Captain’s teacher gave to me, another new speech therapist for the Captain, a suggestion to enroll her in another school, an application for the PTA, advice to stave-off head lice, a sign-up sheet to be a room parent, a request to meet with the school psychologist, a supply list for the whole class, and a warning that head lice are in her room.


On the first day of school, Captain’s teacher gave to me, did I mention head lice?, a new speech therapist for the Captain, a suggestion to enroll her in another school, an application for the PTA, advice to stave-off head lice, a sign-up sheet to be a room parent, a request to meet with the school psychologist, a supply list for the whole class, and a warning that head lice are in her room.


On the first day of school, Captain’s teacher gave to me, the shopping list for kids with food allergies, did I mention head lice?, a new speech therapist for the Captain, a suggestion to enroll her in another school, an application for the PTA, advice to stave-off head lice, a sign-up sheet to be a room parent, a request to meet with the school psychologist, a supply list for the whole class, and a warning that head lice are in her room.


On the first day of school, Captain’s teacher gave to me, a case of indigestion, the shopping list for kids with food allergies, did I mention head lice?, a new speech therapist for the Captain, a suggestion to enroll her in another school, an application for the PTA, advice to stave-off head lice, a sign-up sheet to be a room parent, a request to meet with the school psychologist, a supply list for the whole class, and a warning that head lice are in her room.


On the first day of school, I had a wild thought, “What are we doing? Is this really worth it? Did she say HEAD LICE?! Can you kill those little critters? Will I have to boil my daughter? Should I shave her head? I really don’t want head lice! What will the second day bring?! Can I provide her needed therapy? My head is feeling itchy. This is why I home school! And, one case of swine flu and she’s outta there!”


I kid you not. And, only one of these entries isn’t entirely true. Can you guess which one?