Let's Celebrate Tomorrow!

Tonight the Boss and I are heading out to Pete’s New and Used Automobile Emporium. We’ve had our eye on a 1983 Chevy Suburban. We hope to bring it home tonight. Tomorrow morning we are going to fire up the beast on our driveway and let it run until at least one full tank of gas is consumed. While we are at it, we’ll probably run the Camry and the Sienna, too. Inside the house, we will be opening all of the windows and running the central air unit after setting the thermostat at 60 degrees. That’s after we turn on all the lights, two TV sets, and every radio we can get our hands on. The children will be encouraged to leave the lights on in every room they exit, a task I know they’ve mastered. I will not recycle tomorrow. I might throw my compost materials in the regular trash after spraying the weeds with used motor oil. That should kill a few dandelions. We might even rent a few cows and let them graze on bushels full of broccoli in the backyard.

Why will we be doing this, you ask?

We’ll be celebrating Earth Day, of course.

If anyone has any suggestions for more ways to celebrate, I’m listening.

And will someone please explain to me how Iceland’s volcanic eruption is George Bush’s fault?