Oh, Not Again!

Do you remember what happened the last time the Boss went out of town?

Anyone?

Yep. That was the week I discovered that washing your checkbook in a clothes washer is not a good idea.

Guess where the Boss is this week?

Anyone?

Yep. She’s out of town.

Did I ever tell you that for Mother’s Day last May we bought the Boss a set of 800 thread count sheets? They’re not cheap. They’re really comfortable. She really likes them. She’s very protective of them.

So, as frequently happens when the Boss is out of town, I found myself in bed last night with both Captain Chaos and Major Havoc. All night. It’s not very comfortable, what with all the nocturnal gymnastics taking place.

And the bloody nose.

To look at the pillow case, the expensive 800 thread count pillow case, the Captain should have bled to death. She actually woke up in a cheerful yet slightly unsightly mood.

Why do these things always happen to me? Why do these things always happen when the Boss is on a business trip?

I discovered something this morning. I discovered that if you strip the bed immediately upon waking, pour laundry detergent directly on the blood stains, and wash the sheets in hot water, 800 thread count sheets will shed all remnants of a bloody nose. Nary a mark. I’ve never been able to do that with 100 and 200 thread count sheets. There’s something to be said for the extra expense.

And if the Boss doesn’t read this post, she’ll never know how close she came to killing me.