The OCD Lawn Boy

We’ve often joked about Major Havoc being the child who puts the “O” in OCD. He does tend to get a little testy when things aren’t just so (which is downright baffling when you see the condition of his room). When the boy gets something in his noggin’ he doesn’t let it go. Yesterday it was the length of the grass in our backyard.

“Dad, can we mow the lawn?”

Why?

“Well, I want to be able to play in the back yard.”

Okay.

“It’s hard to do when the grass is long.”

Really?

“We need to mow. Do you remember when I asked you yesterday if we can mow the lawn?”

Yes, I do.

“Well?”

He was correct.  This was day two of the great lawn care embroilment of aught-ten. We had held a similar conversation the previous day.  I wonder if his mother is putting him up to this.

I looked out to my back yard and admired the patches of lawn surrounded by large bare spots. A quarter of my back yard is zoysia grass that takes a long time to turn green. Half of the grass is just a general assortment of prairie crab grasses and those weeds that the chickens will not eat. The other quarter is dirt. I’ve often been told that zoysia grass is the wonder grass that spreads aggressively, chokes out every other grass, and provides a nice green lawn. I’ve lived here for five years. I’m still waiting.

The Major studies Saxon Math 2. Right now he is learning how to use a ruler to measure things. I’m considering sending him into the back yard with a ruler to measure the length of each blade of grass. If there is a blade taller than 3” I’ll mow. If there isn’t, the Major will have gained valuable training for his career as a code enforcement officer, patrolling some unsuspecting community, measuring the height of their lawns, and issuing citations to people with unruly grass.

Whoever said homeschooling doesn’t prepare children for the real world?