Monday, March 29, 2010

The Nerf Secret Strike Expectorator 5000

Do any of you follow The Kid’s comments on this blog? The man is funny. The Kid writes a blog titled “Diary of a Right Wing Peace Loving Pussycat.” I have it linked on my sidebar. The kid writes more than a right-wing political blog. His blog is also a collection of fantastic music clips and LOLCAT pictures. I discovered the phenomenal guitar work of Tommy Emmanuel thanks to The Kid. If you have the time, go to this post and listen to “Day Tripper/Lady Madonna.”

Thanks to The Kid and his comments, I frequently not only receive a good laugh but I also realize that my kids are fairly tame, all things considered. In a post titled Dixon, Illinois, I wrote about our road trip to Chicago last December. I included pictures of the kids in the car. In one of the pictures they were sharing a plate of baby carrots. The Kid wrote: “What are those kids eating? Carrots? We'd have thrown those out the window at passing cars.” I just knew he was telling the truth (I wouldn’t have been too happy with baby carrots as a child), and I instantly pictured two kids in the back seat of a ’56 Plymouth chucking carrots out of the back windows at passing cars while their parents chatted up front. Then he added this comment at the end of my post about the boys taping underwear to the front door window:

“Arby, better than you and the boss sitting around watching TV, when a gaggle of cop cars come screeching up outside your front door because your sons hung a full size Nazi flag out the 3rd floor window And stuck a water cooled machine gun out the window to point at all the cars going by on July 4, 1959. ;-)”

My children seem rather tame in comparison.

Then I have moments like last Friday when I think Major Havoc was channeling The Kid. Thursday night the Boss took Major Havoc out to dinner and then on a brief trip to Target. At Target she treated him to the Nerf Secret Strike AS10, the pump-action derringer of Nerf Guns.

It takes just five pumps on this thing to shoot a dart 30 feet. The boy enjoyed his gun immensely. Then on Friday, in the car, he decided to see what else he could shoot out of his new gun. Unbeknownst to anyone, he quietly drooled into the barrel, pumped the air chamber five times, and shot his older brother in the side of his head. Five pumps on that sucker will send spit a good distance, too.

It took every ounce of strength not to laugh out loud.  You've gotta admire his creativity. 

He’s all boy, this one.

Two other things...

#1 Let’s pick Thursday, April 1st, for the first “Was Your Day This Bad?” writing challenge. Write and post your funniest “Worst Day” story on April 1st.

#2 Teachermommy wrote about a student who broke his back in school last Friday. Her post can be found here. Please take a moment and say a prayer for this young man.


Teacher Mommy said...

Thank you for the shout out for my student. The more prayer, the better.

Oklahoma Granny said...

I'll be praying for the young man who broke his back, his family and the medical staff that is caring for him.

With regard to the rest of your post, I have 3 male cousins (brothers) MUCH older than me, who have confessed to, in their youth, rolling down the back windows in the car when traveling and yell, "HELP! They're kidnapping us!" as they'd pass thru towns. Mind you, this would have been back in the '40s. Don't you know my aunt and uncle just loved them to pieces for pulling that kind of stuff?

Papa Bear said...

Prayers here for the spinal injury.
As for the Expectorator 5000, I keep wondering whether it would have been better if she'd given him a Super Soaker. On the one hand, it would have been a bigger mess, but on the other, it would have only been water... I think. If this is what Major Havoc does with a dart gun, who knows what he'd try with a Super Soaker!

Khourt said...

Teacher Mommy I will say prayers for that student and his family. Its unreal how things can change so fast.

Arby I would have been one of the kids throwing carrots out of the window.. I chuckle to myself as I type this because if my van windows would "roll down" in the back I know my children would do soemthign similar.

The Pirate Mom said...

Dirty Harry is NEVER reading your blog. Too many good ideas for him...

And what is this writing challenge thingy? Did I miss something? Enlighten me, please. Thanks.


The_Kid said...

First things first. Prayers. White light to that student.

Now..., I'm honored to be featured in your post. You've inspired me that last little bit to finish chapter 5 of my sordid childhood stories - the ones that I'm willing to tell anyway :) (So you can imagine.)

And yes, you have it quite well, just ask my folks when you see them up there.

When I was about 5, the folks got me some brand new shoes. They didn't have money for sure. The very same day, I tossed them out the back window of the 1950 something Desoto (actually) on a 25 mile trip to my uncle's. Damned if they didn't backtrack and find them !

tsinclair said...

Spit! Oh my! Thankfully we have not had that problem. I certainly would not have wanted to be on the receiving end of that. :-)