Thursday, November 18, 2010

I Have a Mistress

I have a mistress.


And my wife doesn’t mind.

How cool is that?!

One aspect of homeschooling that I just love is how much I learn while teaching my children. Today I learned that I not only have a mistress, but that my wife doesn’t mind. Not at all. Why should she? It is she.

My son Major Havoc completed an extended worksheet on abbreviations this afternoon. Through the process of elimination he connected the abbreviation “Mrs.” with the word “mistress.” When I looked over his paper I was certain that there was a misprint. “Mrs.” is the abbreviation for “mistress?” I checked the dictionary. Sure enough, the worksheet was correct.

The next question that came to mind was, “How did I make it to 45 years of age and not know that “Mrs.” is the abbreviation for “mistress?”

The short answer is that I attended public schools. The long answer is that somewhere along the line I was taught that “Miss” was a term used to address a single woman, “Mrs.” was used to address a married woman, and “Mister” was used to address a man. “Mister” could be abbreviated using “Mr.” It never once occurred to me to ask what “Mrs.” stood for beyond “married woman.”

I think I’m going to start introducing my wife as my mistress.

“Hi! My name is Arby. This is my mistress, Melissa.” Then I’m going to enjoy some very entertaining facial expressions as people look from her to me and wonder exactly how to respond.

Mistress Melissa. Sounds exotic!

And to think that I wouldn’t have learned this if I wasn’t homeschooling...

Now, how cool is that?!

12 comments:

Mama Bear said...

Never, ever eat or drink while reading Arby. I must remember this.

Michelle said...

hmm, interesting office party introductions:

my mistress melissa

and he's Paco the pool boy........

I'll have to remember this one!! The things we learn homeschooling!!

today I learned that there are three other "claims" to the first Thanksgiving celebration. Interesing....

Becky said...

How funny!! I never knew that either!

Brownie said...

Too bad Mr. isn't the abbreviation for Master. That could lead to even more interesting introductions :)

Announcing the Master Arby and his Mistress Melissa....

Arby said...

Good thing my last names isn't "Bates."

S.K. said...

Lol. That is funny; but I am surprised you didn't already know that, Arby! Then again, language and grammar WERE my favorite subjects.... Don't ask me any algebra questions though.

The_Kid said...

I admit, I always 'knew' Mrs was short for Misses. Somehow I think this is the democrats rewriting history again.

And I do think that Mr when referring to a minor is Master and to an adult is Mister.
Don't matter, we're never going to understand each other anyway.

Brownie said...

you know Kid - I think you're right. It's master for a youngster.

TobyBo said...

:D

Arby said...

It is "Master" for boys under the age of 14. At least that is the age when my grandmother stopped addressing cards to my brothers and me as "Master" and switched to "Mister." That was a BIG deal for us.

Jim Zboran said...

Thanks for the lesson :) I'll have to let my wife know!

Lisa said...

Ok, have to admit, I've been homeschooling for 11 years and didn't know that either! Just found your blog and I'm now your newest follower! :) Congrats on being nominated!!! I was also one of the nominees in the Homeschool Blog Awards. I'd love it if you'd stop by mine.

Lisa xoxo
http://RaisingFutureLeaders.blogspot.com