Those Who Can't Teach

The old adage states that “those who can, do; those who can’t, teach; and those who can’t teach, teach gym.” I’d like to add a fourth line to that old saw. Those who can’t teach gym become school administrators. It occurred to me this morning that if Darwin’s theory of evolution was true and that a species selectively breeds for the strongest and most desired traits, there would be no more stupid people left in the world. Yet, we regularly see that isn’t true, and we need to look no further than school administrators to see the most egregious examples of less than stellar critical thinking skills. One school administrator strip searched a thirteen-year-old girl on the suspicion of hiding ibuprofen in her underwear. An Eagle Scout was suspended for having a pocket knife in an emergency kit in his car. A Texas school district began legal proceedings on charges of truancy against a mother for homeschooling her children in compliance with state law, while at the same time demanding private information from the family that went beyond the requirements of state law. These stories would be funny if they were not so serious.

Today’s news carries a story that makes me wonder whether or not prospective administrators are required to take EDU 522: The Constitution Doesn’t Apply To You. Allegedly, a school administrator at Harriton High School used images captured on a school issued laptop computer web cam to initiate disciplinary action against a fifteen-year-old boy for improper behavior in his home. You read that correctly: improper behavior in his home. The school district has the ability to secretly capture screen shots at any time on a district issued computer without the knowledge of the user. The district also has the ability to capture images through the web cam imbedded in the computer without the knowledge of the user. If a young student leaves his or her computer on and open while changing their clothes in the privacy of their bedroom, the school just might take their picture!

Who in their right mind thought that this was a good idea? In what world do school administrators believe that they have the right to reach into a private citizen’s home and discipline the citizen? Why would they even want to? It’s not as if school administrators lack for things to do. And if the district wins the lawsuit brought against them by the student’s family, and some judge somewhere decides that this is an acceptable action for government-run schools to take, don’t the administrators realize that a precedent will be set for the government to look into their homes, too? I have to wonder if some school officials have somehow mentally disengaged themselves from participating in US citizenship and the US Constitution to become some sort of world citizen-at-large.

I’d like to say that this case is a slam-dunk for the plaintiff, but I don’t have that much faith in the judicial system. I would have thought that the strip-search case was a certain 9-0 decision by the SCOTUS, but apparently Justice Thomas believes that "Judges are not qualified to second-guess the best manner for maintaining quiet and order in the school environment.” His words. That’s frightening.

Virtual Ignorance Is Bliss

I stopped by Apathy’s public library to use their bank of computer and post an update. First, I had to wait for an 83 year old man to complete his research on the migratory habits of the rare Siberian Tree Monkey (http://www.vodkaandbrachiatingdontmix.org/). This could be a challenging method for maintaining my blog, but I just returned after a six month blogging vacation and I’m not ready to allow a little thing like not having a functioning computer stop me from maintaining a computer-based weblog.

There are aspects of being virtually incommunicado that are pleasant. I do not have to read e-mail message after e-mail message from people concerned about my ability to perform. It is rather annoying to be told numerous times each day that bigger is always better and that marathon sessions are the expected norm. There are a couple of basic assumptions behind those messages that are insulting. These e-mails cannot possibly have been written by parents. Is there a parent of small children alive who does not understand saying, “If we do this quickly we can still get eight hours of sleep?”

I do not miss those frequent offers from Abdulah Iwannatakeyourmoney to drain my life savings by telling me that he has “multiple monies on accounts in reputable bank in my native Nigeria.” He usually writes that a lonely, single multi-millionaire died with no heirs, and that on a planet 25,000 miles in circumference populated by 5 billion people, this stay-at-home dad in Kansas (of all places!) is the only person he trusts to help him liquidate the estate. He also wants me to believe that he is only interested in keeping 10% of the eight gazillion dollars on account. If I only send him a valid bank account number he will wire me the remaining 90%. It is disappointing that the poor writing in these e-mails isn’t a tip-off to to every recipient that something is amiss. The complete lack of critical thinking skills on the part of the middle-aged couple in suburban Chicago who did not stop to ask themselves how such an offer could be real before they watched in abject horror as their childrens’ college funds electronically disappeared some Tuesday afternoon, is a complete condemnation of both our educational system and the fallen world that we live in. Greed and avarice rule the day. That reminds me, I need to check my lottery tickets.

I have also noticed that when I read my paper mail my view is not obstructed by an annoying pop-up advertisement that will not go away no matter how many times I click on an “x” that can only be located with the aide of an electron microscope. Advertisers have not yet figured our how to create a paper pop-up ad without causing a heart attack in a sixty-three year old widow in Hartsville, Tennessee, when she thinks she is opening her electric bill and is instead greeted by a spring-loaded Burger King creepy guy who pops up to say, “I like square booty!”

While I persevere through this unwanted electronic hiatus I will continue to record stories and post them when I can. I write better when I write on a computer. My six pages of hand written, double-spaced, heavily redacted rough draft is slowly and laboriously produced. And to think that this is how I got through high school and most of college. Ah, technology…

Due to technical difficulties...

Arby will resume normal programming at Boarding in Bedlam when computer difficulties are resolved.

I am sure Arby will have lots of great material by then, such as the head first dive the Major took into a door at the A Beka sale at the local hotel.

Thanks,

The Boss