Are "Barber" and "Butcher" Synonyms?

General Mayhem was getting a bit shaggy, so the Boss sat him down for one of their historic haircuts. It was remarkably quiet, so much so that the boy joked halfway through the cut that his kidney itched. By the time she was finished we could see his eyes, the tops of his ears, and a few patches of scalp on the sides and back of his head. Yeah, she pretty much hacked this one. She felt horribly about it, too. It was the first time in fifteen years that the word “butcher” came to mind in response to one of her haircuts. She spent the following two days chasing the General around the house, scissors in hand, asking, “Just let me even it out!” Eventually, he relented. It was either that or walking around with his head tilted to one side for six weeks. So, I sent the scissors off to Texas to be sharpened. They’ll be back in a month. That should prevent any more damage from being done. For awhile.

The girl earned enough brownie points with her mother to cover a year’s worth of mischief when she fell asleep in bed reading…

…a math book!

Reading a math book would put me right to sleep, too. At least she’s learning the joys of Wile E. Coyote chasing the Roadrunner. Beep! Beep!


Over at THA: Sit Your Skinny Little Butt Down!

If the Apples Fall Any Closer to the Tree

General, have you read at least one chapter of Animal Farm?

“I’ve read four chapters. I like the book.”

Good. What is it about? What have you learned so far?

“Well, it’s about some animals…on a farm…”


Someone, please, just shoot me.


Major Havoc, have you completed your math?

“I’m having some problems with a couple of problems.”

That's appropriate. (reading from his math paper) Draw a shape that has four angles. How many  sides does it have? Major, you know which shape has four angles.

“Oh, yeah,” he replied, a silly grin crossing his face. “A square. I thought it said ‘angels’.”

Honestly, if the apples fall any closer to the tree I'm going to have a lump on my head.