Thursday, August 27, 2009

On the First Day of Preschool, the Teacher Gave to Me...

As many of you know, Captain Chaos attends Apathy Elementary School to receive Speech and Occupational Therapy. This year she is attending pre-school two days each week, for three hours each day. That is the least amount of time we could arrange. Tuesday was her first day of school. In honor of that day, I wrote The Twelve First Days of School, sung to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas. Follow along…



On the first day of school, Captain’s teacher gave to me, a warning that head lice are in her room.


On the first day of school, Captain’s teacher gave to me, a supply list for the whole class, and a warning that head lice are in her room.


On the first day of school, Captain’s teacher gave to me, a request to meet with the school psychologist, a supply list for the whole class, and a warning that head lice are in her room.


On the first day of school, Captain’s teacher gave to me, a sign-up sheet to be a room parent, a request to meet with the school psychologist, the supply list for the whole class, and a warning that head lice are in her room.


On the first day of school, Captain’s teacher gave to me, advice to stave-off head lice, a sign-up sheet to be a room parent, a request to meet with the school psychologist, a supply list for the whole class, and a warning that head lice are in her room.


On the first day of school, Captain’s teacher gave to me, an application for the PTA, advice to stave-off head lice, a sign-up sheet to be a room parent, a request to meet with the school psychologist, a supply list for the whole class, and a warning that head lice are in her room.


On the first day of school, Captain’s teacher gave to me, a suggestion to enroll her in another school, an application for the PTA, advice to stave-off head lice, a sign-up sheet to be a room parent, a request to meet with the school psychologist, a supply list for the whole class, and a warning that head lice are in her room.


On the first day of school, Captain’s teacher gave to me, another new speech therapist for the Captain, a suggestion to enroll her in another school, an application for the PTA, advice to stave-off head lice, a sign-up sheet to be a room parent, a request to meet with the school psychologist, a supply list for the whole class, and a warning that head lice are in her room.


On the first day of school, Captain’s teacher gave to me, did I mention head lice?, a new speech therapist for the Captain, a suggestion to enroll her in another school, an application for the PTA, advice to stave-off head lice, a sign-up sheet to be a room parent, a request to meet with the school psychologist, a supply list for the whole class, and a warning that head lice are in her room.


On the first day of school, Captain’s teacher gave to me, the shopping list for kids with food allergies, did I mention head lice?, a new speech therapist for the Captain, a suggestion to enroll her in another school, an application for the PTA, advice to stave-off head lice, a sign-up sheet to be a room parent, a request to meet with the school psychologist, a supply list for the whole class, and a warning that head lice are in her room.


On the first day of school, Captain’s teacher gave to me, a case of indigestion, the shopping list for kids with food allergies, did I mention head lice?, a new speech therapist for the Captain, a suggestion to enroll her in another school, an application for the PTA, advice to stave-off head lice, a sign-up sheet to be a room parent, a request to meet with the school psychologist, a supply list for the whole class, and a warning that head lice are in her room.


On the first day of school, I had a wild thought, “What are we doing? Is this really worth it? Did she say HEAD LICE?! Can you kill those little critters? Will I have to boil my daughter? Should I shave her head? I really don’t want head lice! What will the second day bring?! Can I provide her needed therapy? My head is feeling itchy. This is why I home school! And, one case of swine flu and she’s outta there!”


I kid you not. And, only one of these entries isn’t entirely true. Can you guess which one?

6 comments:

Kathleen said...

Well, I sure hope that the suggestion to enroll her in another school is the false one because if it's not, then why on earth did she give you any of the rest?

And all of this 4 1/2 months before Christmas! She is so giving!

Michelle said...

Oh, isn't it nice to share!! School supplies and head lice!! How wonderful!! Not!
I believe that you do not want to wash her hair. If I remember correctly, they try to go to clean hair and try to put hers in braids or something. I seem to remember my friend doing that to her daughter to make sure she didn't get it. Or, you could send her our way, and during our viking study, we could boil her in a vat of oil or something.....
No wonder I've always homeschooled!! God Bless the parents that are forced to put their kids in public school!!

Mrs. A said...

Oh, I really hope that the indigestion part is not your idea of a joke. I hope you DO have indigestion over all of this (not really, but...) and that some other ridiculous bit is fabricated.

I wonder if there's a field kit to help parents negotiate all of this silliness. And lice on the first day?! Who does that?!!

CrossView said...

Ah, lice. I don't miss the constant checking and worrying. And the sympathy itches. But I can't believe this all gave you indigestion. Headaches and nausea, maybe. But not indigestion....

Chris said...

My guess is the only thing she didn't REALLY offer was "advice to stave-off headlice". After-all, that would have been helpful. Can't have that!

Nikowa@KHA said...

I agree...the "go to the other school" one...but dang! What a day. :(