Monday, November 8, 2010

These Fundamental Things Apply

I know. If you point a finger at another person there are three fingers pointed back at you. I get it. It’s why people believe in Karma.

Still…

When I pulled into the Tractor Supply Company parking lot I pulled through the first stall and parked in the stall on the opposite side, with my front bumper pointing out so that when I left I simply had to pull forward and exit the lot. You can take the boy out of the Catholic Church but you can’t take the Catholic Church out of the boy. Show me a car backed into a parking stall and I’ll show you a Catholic well versed in ducking out after communion and exiting the lot before the congregation says “Amen!” But this really was no big deal. The lot was empty.

When I exited my van I noticed that my parking job was more than poor. About a foot of my van extended past the back end of my parking stall and into the stall behind me. I thought about moving it, but why? THE LOT WAS EMPTY.

So, do you see where this is going?

I went into the store and purchased two bags of dog food and three bags of chicken feed. Exiting the store, I noticed that some schlub had parked his cargo van directly behind my mini van. Because of my poor parking job, the back end of his van extended several feet into the aisle in the parking lot. He left just enough room, by mere inches, for me to impersonate Daniel Browning Smith while opening the rear hatch of my van, loading my bags, and shutting the door. The dude sat in the driver’s seat and watched me the entire time.

I loaded my vehicle thinking, “Really? You had to park there? That stall was so important to you that you had to nearly block the access to my van while leaving your back end sticking into the lane behind you?”

I stopped and counted the empty stalls in the parking lot.

Thirty-five.

THIRTY-FIVE!

There were thirty-five empty parking stalls in this parking lot and chaff-for-brains had to park directly behind me! I know, I know. I’m starting to sound like Bogie. “Of all the parking stalls in all the parking lots in all the Tractor Supply Companies in all the world, he parks behind mine.”

I walked my shopping cart back into the store. On my way out I saw the old geezer from the van walking towards me. He stared at me with a slightly defiant, slightly challenging look on his face. I opted to say nothing. Mouthing off would have served no purpose. But can I say it?

You must remember this
An ass is just an ass, a pig lives in a sty.
These fundamental things apply
As time goes by.

12 comments:

TobyBo said...

ahh... the classics. :)

Michelle said...

Yes, Americans at our best. There are times like those, when I want to run and hide back in the civilized country of Japan. Thirty five stalls and he had to park there? He was looking for a fight and very angry. I guess I should say a prayer for him and be the bigger person.

Junosmom said...

I think kindness gets to people more than anger. Anger is what they want. But wouldn't it be satisfying to just punch the guy?

Alex said...

You know, this story woulda been a lot better if you'da said something to him!

Mostly I'm interested to hear his explanation, not really your telling him off.

Kathleen said...

For those of you who know me...no, I did not sending my young daughter for a daily dose of Arby's blog. She was still signed in to gmail on my computer, and I did not realize it. Man, it really sucks sharing a computer with family members!

Arby said...

Phew!

Brownie said...

Unbelievable!!

Y'know - I think I met that guy. He was the old geezer who followed me out of B&N and rudely commented on my son's behavior. Guess he gets around.

Jerk.

L. said...

Ya'know, drivers are pretty nuts these days. Your experience with Friendly Fred there reminds me of yesterday, when I was minding my own business, driving down an arterial street with no cars behind me and no cars coming toward me. Some lady comes off a side street RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME and turns left while, you guessed it, talking on her cell phone. I blared the horn while I struggled to keep the car under control, just barely stopping in time to avoid hitting the left rear quarter panel of her vehicle, and watched her give me the infamous finger salute. Am I wrong or does that give her points for being able to multi-task?

tsinclair said...

Did you point and count the 35 empty spaces in front of him? :-)

Papa Bear said...

How about the person (there's one in every lot) who's so important he needs TWO parking spaces? They straddle the line, assuming everyone else will follow the rules, and give them half an empty parking space on either side as a buffer protecting their overpriced paint job. Once, during final exams, I found that someone in a four wheel drive Testosterone 5000 had taken the last two parking spaces. (I think he was compensating for something.) But this time, there was enough space to squeeze in beside him. (He was such a bad driver, he couldn't center his vehicle in TWO spaces.) There was nowhere else to park, and I couldn't be late for my exam, so I squeezed in. The whining Nancyboy left a threatening note on my windshield. I was surprised he could read and write.

Linda said...

I met that guy. He has a home in Houston.

Papa Bear; Testosterone 5000. I'm going to be using that, I'm sure.

Nikowa Lee {Quirky Mom} said...

OMG this happens to me all the time!! (just usually NEXT to me) I'm no petite girl & sometimes I've had to climb in through the passenger seat. *sigh*