These Fundamental Things Apply

I know. If you point a finger at another person there are three fingers pointed back at you. I get it. It’s why people believe in Karma.

Still…

When I pulled into the Tractor Supply Company parking lot I pulled through the first stall and parked in the stall on the opposite side, with my front bumper pointing out so that when I left I simply had to pull forward and exit the lot. You can take the boy out of the Catholic Church but you can’t take the Catholic Church out of the boy. Show me a car backed into a parking stall and I’ll show you a Catholic well versed in ducking out after communion and exiting the lot before the congregation says “Amen!” But this really was no big deal. The lot was empty.

When I exited my van I noticed that my parking job was more than poor. About a foot of my van extended past the back end of my parking stall and into the stall behind me. I thought about moving it, but why? THE LOT WAS EMPTY.

So, do you see where this is going?

I went into the store and purchased two bags of dog food and three bags of chicken feed. Exiting the store, I noticed that some schlub had parked his cargo van directly behind my mini van. Because of my poor parking job, the back end of his van extended several feet into the aisle in the parking lot. He left just enough room, by mere inches, for me to impersonate Daniel Browning Smith while opening the rear hatch of my van, loading my bags, and shutting the door. The dude sat in the driver’s seat and watched me the entire time.

I loaded my vehicle thinking, “Really? You had to park there? That stall was so important to you that you had to nearly block the access to my van while leaving your back end sticking into the lane behind you?”

I stopped and counted the empty stalls in the parking lot.

Thirty-five.

THIRTY-FIVE!

There were thirty-five empty parking stalls in this parking lot and chaff-for-brains had to park directly behind me! I know, I know. I’m starting to sound like Bogie. “Of all the parking stalls in all the parking lots in all the Tractor Supply Companies in all the world, he parks behind mine.”

I walked my shopping cart back into the store. On my way out I saw the old geezer from the van walking towards me. He stared at me with a slightly defiant, slightly challenging look on his face. I opted to say nothing. Mouthing off would have served no purpose. But can I say it?

You must remember this
An ass is just an ass, a pig lives in a sty.
These fundamental things apply
As time goes by.