Monday, September 28, 2009

Mud Masks and Mad Men

We knew there was trouble when we arrived at Wal*mart on Saturday morning and discovered that the geriatric club of Grace Assembly Church had set up a tent for their bake sale/rubbage rummage sale in the very spot that the Cub Scouts were supposed to be selling popcorn. I inquired at the service desk as to why the Wrinkled for Jesus crowd was geezing our location. The service desk employee tracked down three people before I was told that we were scheduled for that location last weekend. Oh, we weren’t supposed to be scheduled for that location last weekend. I don’t know if I made the mistake or if Wal*mart made the mistake, but it didn’t really matter. It would have made for bad PR if a den of rabid Wolf Scouts in uniform descended upon the wizened worshippers of Grace Assembly and forcibly threw them to the curb in order to hawk tins of Triple Chocolaty Delight popcorn.

The Boss saved the day with some cool headed thinking. She ran down the road to another grocery store, the store that people go to when they do not want to battle the Wal*mart crowd, and spoke to the store manager. Ten minutes later we had our table set up, complete with den flags, banners, and popcorn. Lots and lots of popcorn. She ran home to get the phone numbers of all the scouts scheduled to sell, and by the ten o-clock hour I had contacted every scout and informed them of the new location for popcorn sales. By three in the afternoon, when the sale ended, the boys sold $600 in popcorn and received roughly $150 in donations from people who wanted to support us but really had no interest in buckets of Gourmet Carmel Corn. I genuinely appreciated the donations, but still do not understand why people didn’t take something for their donation and give it to a friend. I want my living room back. Currently, it has several cases of the popcorn that didn’t sell.

My feet hurt. My legs hurt. Standing that long with other people’s seven-year-olds sorely tested my nerves. The only way to relax after a day like that was to…you guessed it…pack up the camping gear and join the scouts of General Mayhem’s Boy Scout Troop on their annual family camp-out. Major Havoc, the BFD and I drove out into the countryside and joined the troop as they completed their day’s activities, the Catapult Wars. The boys built catapults and launched flour bombs at one another. The wars were finished by the time we arrived, but that didn’t stop us from heading into the field to test drive the boomerang the Major received for his birthday last Thursday. His giggles could be heard for miles around as his boomerang sailed through the air. He was in little boy heaven for the rest of the night as he hung around with the older scouts at their camp sites, burned marshmallows in the fire, and played a late night game of Capture the Flag.  He collapsed into his sleeping bag late Saturday night, and didn't stir until eight-thirty the next morning when I realized that he was stuck in his tent after I heard him screaming, “Hey! I have to go to the bathroom! Can someone help me? I really have to go to the bathroom!”

So, what did the ladies of the house do while the men were off in the fields of eastern Kansas? It was spa night at home! Mud masks and painted nails and Madeleine videos and popcorn were the main events last Saturday night. I was calming the Major when he freaked out after the coyotes started howling. The Boss was applying a salt sea scrub and reclining on the couch with her daughter. From my perspective, (I don't wear a mud mask as well as my daughter does) I had the better part of the deal, so everyone was happy.


Kathleen said...

Remind me NOT to go to you for suggestions when I need to relax!! I may not usually be the girly type, but I think I'd opt for the relaxing spa night with the Boss over camping any day!

CrossView said...

I'm with Kathleen... Leaving the comforts of home does not relax me.

How do you know about wearing a mud mask? Have you tried it? =P

And "Wrinkled for Jesus"? That phrase is so gonna stick in my head. Now old church ladies everywhere will wonder why I giggle when I see them. Bad Arby. Bad!

Sounds like all the kids had a perfect weekend!

Teacher Mommy said...

I spent my day off relaxing in a pole barn watching a hot guy fix cars while I painted my nails. Oh, and taking a trip to the scrapyard. And going to a movie. So I think I kinda got the best of both worlds. Even if there wasn't a tent involved.

Linda said...

Camping! Give me camping. I don't have to cook, set up, clean up or make beds!