Friday, November 6, 2009

Dog-free Friday!

I slept uninterrupted last night. It is the first time in months that I was not awakened by an energetic, tail wagging, incessantly whining beast who needed to go to the bathroom and wanted to jump the fence to knock over the garbage cans, explore the unopened bags inside, enjoy an early morning snack, and the head off to sniff the world. Twice. The Big Fuzzy Dog, who shows absolutely no signs of missing his canine compatriot, casually joined me in the bedroom when he heard that I was awake, and only then made moves to show me that he needed to go sleep with the chickens. All of this happened because we drove out to a farm in northeast Leavenworth County yesterday and gave the coon hound to a family that will enjoy her and use her to keep their farm free of critters. That’s a win-win, even if the young beast was a little disconcerted when I climbed into the van without her and drove off.

Captain Chaos, a popcorn and potato chip junkie, found me at the computer this morning. She immediately asked me to make her breakfast, and then launched into an accounting of all the owies and boo-boos that she recently acquired.

“Will you give me chips for breakfast? In a bowl? Some chips? Please?”

“You want potato chips for breakfast?” I asked.

“Yep! Chips will make my foot feel better,” she explained sweetly, holding up one perfectly uninjured foot for inspection.

It is amazing how well their powers of argumentation develop at such an early age.

Yesterday, Major Havoc wanted to play a game. He picked up two sticks in the front yard and handed one to me.

“Here, dad. This is your targeting device.”

Behind him, General Mayhem nodded his head with understanding. He’s played this game before.

“Targeting device?”

“Yeah. Now, aim it at the tree there.” He pointed to the maple in our front yard.

I took aim, threw the stick, and hit the tree trunk.

“That’s great, dad!” the Major exclaimed. “You won fifty points!”

General Mayhem smiled. “You’re playing to one thousand.”

“This could take awhile,” I observed. “At fifty points a hit.”

The General just laughed.

Major Havoc took aim with his stick, threw it, and hit the tree. “Look at that!” he cried out. “That was worth 250 points!”

“The point system is sliiiiiiiiightly rigged in his favor,” the General observed.

“You think?”

My second throw hit the tree trunk, earning me another fifty points, while the Major’s second throw was a glancing blow that ricocheted off the side of the tree and into the street.

“That was worth 350 points!” he called out as he ran to get his targeting device stick.

I think politicians play by these rules, with the majority party always setting the point value in their favor, and against the tax payer. Will we ever elect people who do not play like 7 year olds once they get into office?

Just wonderin’…


Kathleen said...

The Captain is toooo cute!!

7-year-olds? I was thinkin' it looks more like Kindergarten up there in DC.

Teacher Mommy said...

I think you're overestimating the mental age of politicians, myself.

I am dealing with teens today who are acting like they are approximately THREE. My head may explode.

TobyBo said...

well, did she or did she not get chips for breakfast? the lobbyists here would want her list of tricks if she did.

Arby said...


Michelle said...

hmmm, I agree with the Captain-potato chips could most certainly help an uninjured foot!

Eat, Fart and Bark said...

Glad to hear the dog is hunting coons now. Enjoy the peace and quiet. The group missed you this week at running club.

Kellie said...

I didn't know it was dog-free Friday. How disappointed you must have been to visit my blog only to realize that my dog was the guest blogger for today.

TobyBo said...

well, I am sure the Captain will think of another approach. :)

CrossView said...

I'm so glad you're getting sleep now. I'm sure your kids are appreciatuve... =P
Good try for the Captain! I'm afraid that I'm at the age now where I would let her have the chips.

Apparently, politicians DO play by those very same rules. And it's adorable in a 7 year old. In an adult? Not so much....

Karla @ Ramblin' Roads said...

Glad you found a good home for the coon dog! Dog stories need to have a happy ending, of course.

Love the story of the game with the skewed points system.

Thanks for following along with me on my blog merger. I appreciate it!