Friday, April 30, 2010

Tricking a Computer 101

Last Friday night we had the pleasure of joining three other couples for dinner and a trip to the College Church of the Nazarene in Olathe, Kansas, to watch Tim Hawkins perform his stand-up comedy. That man is hysterically funny. I laughed so hard that my sides hurt. If you ever get the opportunity to see him perform, you should. The tickets were inexpensive and well worth the price we paid.  If you are not familiar with Tim Hawkins, check out


Things You Don’t Say To Your Wife

The Government Can

and the homeschooling classic, A Homeschool Family

Now, have I ever mentioned my strategy for Publisher’s Clearinghouse search engines? Every day I receive an email invitation to earn an entry into a drawing for ten million dollars from Publisher’s Clearinghouse for using their “Search and Win” search engine. They give away prizes at various points in the day to people who regularly search on their site. I know that PCH is creating a data base of their users for the purposes of tailoring advertising to the users. They probably sell that information, too. So, I try to offer them the most difficult portrait of a PCH user as I possibly can by typing search terms that when viewed as a whole show no discernable pattern upon which they can tailor their advertising campaign. What can you pitch to a person who searches for apple corers on one day and toenail fungus treatments the next? Each day I type into the search engine a random word that pops into my head and receive for my troubles one entry into their prize drawing. It takes a second or two and amuses me to no end.

This morning I typed the words “someone broke wind” into the search engine. I did this because both my darling bride and my oldest child have been singing Tim Hawkins’ parody of “Dust in the Wind,” titled “Someone Broke Wind,” around the house all week. And what did I get for my troubles?

Check this out!
(Click on the picture to enlarge it.)

Find that person free!

A service that allows you to find that person for free! That’s fantastic! Gone are the days of hearing “Not me!” when you try to identify the person who created that funky invisible wall that assaults the nasal passages and makes your eyes water. Now, by simply typing in a few search parameters into an Iphone, you and a dozen other shoppers can commence to flogging the person who soiled the air while you stand in a long check-out line at your local grocery store. The one cheek sneak will be an event from the past.

Ah, technology. You’ve gotta love it!


Twisted said...

If they let one rip in a checkout line they deserved to be flogged. That is one of the reasons we keep fans at our cash registers - to blow offensive smells back at ya.

Some Guy said...

My favorite Tim Hawkins bit is Kids' Rock

Michelle said...

Can't we just tar and feather them? Flogging seems so prehistoric.

Kathleen said...

I've never seen Tim Hawkins on anything but YouTube, but I think he's hilarious too. And, because of him, I cannot NOT laugh when someone prays a "hedge of protection" around someone. I hear Tim saying, "What? You don't think the Devil can just jump over a hedge?"

Brownie said...

Funny. I've heard of Tim Hawkins - I think KLOVE airs him (no pun intended).

@Kathleen - I can't sing "Jesus Loves the Little Children" because of my father's rendition of the song.... "all the children of the world! Red and yellow, black and white, green and purple are a sight."

Sgt. Wolverine said...

Kids Rock is great, but hands down, the best Tim Hawkins bit out there is the one about his favorite Bible verse. Search youtube for Tim Hawkins favorite Bible won't be disappointed.