Thursday, August 12, 2010

I've Been Painting

I've Been Painting
(Sung to the tune of "I Feel Pretty")

I’ve been priming
Yes, I’m priming
I’ve been priming my house gray and white
And I’m buying five gallons of paint tonight.

I am melting
Yes, I’m melting
It's alarming just how heat stroke feels
And so freaky seeing how my sun burnt skin peels.

The temperature is a hundred twelve
The heat index is one thirty
Such a sweaty face
Such a sweaty shirt
Such a sweaty mess
Such a sweaty me!

I feel nasty
And repulsive
Feel like show’ring for an hour or three
Or when she gets home, the Boss won’t hug and kiss me!

Have you ever seen paint dry on the brush?
Ten seconds out of the can?
Spreading chunks on the wall is hard
But the back of my neck is getting a tan!

Neighbors think it’s too hot
The heat is a pain
They say it looks good
And they think I’m insane!

The house does look good
Like any house should
It’s easy to paint
When it’s made out of wood.

I’ve been painting
Yes, I’m painting
And the city should throw a party
A committee should be organized to honor me (la la la la la la la la la la)

I feel dizzy
A bit nauseous
My muscles they all feel achy
I am tired, and I want to be sleeping (la la la la la la la la la la la la)

My home’s stunning
And entrancing
Just imagine how pretty it will be
Painted tomorrow, when the temp is one hundred and three!

11 comments:

Brownie said...

ROFL!!!! And I could sing it all the way through!! LOL!!

Wonderful lyrics! I'm very impressed.

Becky said...

Love it!!! You might have to record this version! ha! ~ Seriously... be careful out there! You're family needs you :)

Mama Bear said...

I did sing it all the way through. Goldilocks was not impressed, but Brother bear laughed his rear-end off. Thanks for giving us a laugh.

L. said...

Arby's clever
Oh so clever
It amazing how clever you are
And I never
Knew a paint job could be
Stretched so far
La la la la la la la la la la

Next to add to this diddy.......

Leonard Bernstein, eat your heart out.

TobyBo said...

gotta watch out for those fumes ;)

way to go on getting the job done.

Oklahoma Granny said...

You certainly have a way of putting words to music.

S.K. said...

This should be right up there with Anita Renfroe's "Mom Song." Too funny!

S.K. said...

Oh, and I can actuall relate just a little. Painting the house was one of the chores I left unfinished at my sister's when I visited OK.

jugglingpaynes said...

Bravo! Bravo! Magnifico!

Peace and Laughter,
Cristina

Twisted said...

I can't get that song out of my head. You've done me in. AAAAAHHH! Good lyrics on your part. Can't wait to see pictures of the house.

The_Kid said...

Arby, why are you working outside in this heat ?
Anyway, Good Luck !