Saturday, February 19, 2011

Are "Barber" and "Butcher" Synonyms?

General Mayhem was getting a bit shaggy, so the Boss sat him down for one of their historic haircuts. It was remarkably quiet, so much so that the boy joked halfway through the cut that his kidney itched. By the time she was finished we could see his eyes, the tops of his ears, and a few patches of scalp on the sides and back of his head. Yeah, she pretty much hacked this one. She felt horribly about it, too. It was the first time in fifteen years that the word “butcher” came to mind in response to one of her haircuts. She spent the following two days chasing the General around the house, scissors in hand, asking, “Just let me even it out!” Eventually, he relented. It was either that or walking around with his head tilted to one side for six weeks. So, I sent the scissors off to Texas to be sharpened. They’ll be back in a month. That should prevent any more damage from being done. For awhile.

The girl earned enough brownie points with her mother to cover a year’s worth of mischief when she fell asleep in bed reading…

…a math book!

Reading a math book would put me right to sleep, too. At least she’s learning the joys of Wile E. Coyote chasing the Roadrunner. Beep! Beep!


Over at THA: Sit Your Skinny Little Butt Down!

8 comments:

Becky said...

Would have love to have seen "before" and "after" shots! LOL! ~ Ya. Math would put me to sleep, too... with a BIG TIME headache!! :)

Marlis said...

Ohhh, my mother did that to me when I was about 5 years old. My perfectionist, ocd mom kept trying to 'even' out my bangs until they were toothbrush stubble size. I cut Missy's hair for years (just a bob when she was little and a simple bangs and medium length hair later) and my dh's hair (with an electric trimmer) before he biffed it off. Back in boarding school I cut my fellow students' hair. I was good at it and had girls come to me for years. Even though it was an illicit activity (with good reason), the headmistress sent a student to me for a hair cut LOL. I won't cut my son's hair. Boy hair cuts can be harder to do with all the layers and cowlicks. Tell the Boss not to beat herself up about it, it'll outgrow in a few weeks! And if she does it again to remember that hair moves around and slight irregularities won't be noticed. Or better yet, take them to an inexpensive place that does frequent customer cards (you know, pay for 12 get the 13th free).

The Boss said...

In my defense, the General refuses to go to any other place to get his hair cut. The last time I spent $30 to have his hair cut we came home and he asked me to "fix" it. Apparently it looked too much like Justin Beiber's hair.

I think my big error with this cut wasn't that I did it, it's that I did it after taking a pain killer and was a little loopy. That's the lesson I'm taking away, anyhow.

And, after I was able to thin out one side just a little more, it turned out to be a pretty descent haricut. No, there were no bald spots. That's what those English geeks like Arby call "hyperbole."

Kathleen said...

Well, I haven't told anyone outside my family (who knows by default), but I had 2 haircuts on Wednesday. I went to one of these assembly line type hair places (and I'm cutting (ahem) down those types of places - they work fine for many, but my hair is very thick, and they don't usually know what to do with it at these places). The lady gave me a great hack job. So...2 hours later I went to a more fru-fru place. In short (ahem, again!), I got the world's most expensive haircut(s).

Your little Captain is too cute - that would sure earn some brownie points in this house too!

Kathleen said...

I meant to say "I'm NOT cutting down...". Freudian slip? Nah. The other members of my family go to the place that butchered me.

Marlis said...

Awww, Boss, I hope whatever reason you needed to take a painkiller for will soon be resolved and you'll be well in no time. My daughter too hated getting her hair cut by anyone other than me until about a year ago. To the General I say... glad you don't look like the Bieber.... yuck.....

Kathleen, I have 'difficult' hair too and it took me years to find someone who could cut it well. I have thick, very wavy hair which corkscrews at times. When its damp I look like a poodle LOL.

Michelle said...

I didn't have any bangs because my mother cut mine, then had to even them, and even them, and even them, until they were stubs at the top of my head.

Good for the boss for even trying. I gave up doing haircuts for hubby, even though its just trimmers. If I wanted to be a barber, I'd be a barber.

Brownie said...

The first time I cut Blondie's hair Sir said that he didn't know I was going to cut her bangs so short. I said I didn't know either.