Monday, February 14, 2011

We'll Try This Again Next Year

So, I returned from the store with two presents for the girl. The sick girl. The girl with the runny nose, watery eyes, and hacky cough, who spent her entire Valentine’s Day running around in pink Sponge Bob Square Pants kajamas with one of my socks pulled up high on her right leg.

She ran to the front door after I called to her. I handed her a red, heart shaped, mylar helium balloon.

“Will you be my Valentine?” I asked.

Her face lit up in a huge grin. “Sure!” she squealed in delight.

Then I handed her a box of Brach’s heart-shaped candies, those traditional Valentine’s Day candies with saccharine phrases stamped on them.

“These are for you,” I told her.

“Thanks, dad!” she exclaimed. Then she ran off to play.

Dad successfully gave his daughter her first Valentine’s Day presents.



A short time later the girl returned with box in hand.

“Can you write my name on the box?” she asked.
 “Yes, I can,” I replied. I took a pen and wrote “Captain Chaos” on the “To” line and “Dad” on the “From” line.

She looked at the box with disbelief.

“No, silly!” she explained a moment later. “You don’t write ‘dad’ on the box. You write my last name!”



When mom returned home from work, the girl greeted her in the kitchen with balloon in hand.

“Oh, look at that!” mom exclaimed. “Did your favorite Valentine give you a balloon?”

“No,” the girl replied. “Dad did.”

Ouch.

"Who is your favorite Valentine?" the Boss asked.

"You are!" the girl replied, throwing her arms around her mother in a big hug.

Somehow, this wasn’t working out as I expected.


Later in the evening, after mom took the boys to Karate, the girl and I retired to the basement for some Wii sports before bed.

“Dude, why do you have a hole in your sock?” she asked, wiggling two of her toes through the hole in my sock.

“I don’t know,” I told her. Exactly how do you answer that question? It isn’t like I wanted a hole in my sock.

“Where did you get the balloon?” the Captain continued, waving her red “trophy” in the air. She called it her trophy all night long, although I do not know what she won in order to earn that prize.

“At Dollar General,” I replied.

“At Dollar General?” she repeated. “They had a balloon there for me?”

“Yes, they did,” I answered.

She paused a few seconds.

“Did they have a Slim Jim?”



(Sigh)

We’ll try this again next year.

11 comments:

TobyBo said...

Slim Jims are the way to this girl's heart. I would watch out for any thin guys named Jim who come around.

Anya Becca said...

I enjoyed this.

I enjoyed it so much that I actually read parts of it to my roommate.

I hope next year goes more in your favor, but also equally entertaining for your readers. :)

Brownie said...

Funny girl. Love the picture with one of your socks pulled up on her leg. :)

Tina at akagramma said...

How cute! I love your story! I love having conversations with children..they say the funniest things!
I, too, love the picture with your sock on her leg...one of my daughters used to wear my socks like that...memories!

Michelle said...

I agree with TobyBo, watch out for skinny guys named Jim. Perhaps you could get a bunch of balloons for Jim to blow away.....

Marlis said...

Too funny! The whole thing with the favorite valentine reminded me of that Mc Donalds Ad ' Thanks Mom'. My husband would tell you that your're not alone.

Oklahoma Granny said...

You've got to get up pretty early in the morning to stay ahead of that one!

L. said...

Oh my gosh that's priceless/hilarious! Professional comedy writers couldn't do as well. You might want to think about including Slim Jims in her Easter Baskets and St. Nicholas stockings from now on. Heck, just include them any time, any place, any season/reason. On second thought, no. It's much more fun to hear her tag lines when you least expect them. She's a riot. :O)

The_Kid said...

Dude, never forget the slim jims.........

Fear and Parenting in Las Vegas said...

Some days you just can't win.

Linda said...

Priceless.