Ah, the wonderful world of a child’s imagination. It is truly a blessing to behold. You can learn a lot when you sit quietly and listen to a child at play. You might hear your young man hum the Thomas the Tank Engine theme song as he sets up his wooden railway. You might delight to the sound of the “clickety-clack” as his trains race down the track. You’ll be enthralled by a thrilling tale as one lone dockside diesel engine rudely pushes other characters, shouting, “Get in line, you %$#*@%#^$* freight cars! What the *&%$& are you waiting for?”
Where did your angel learn such language? Chances are, from you! Because you bought him
Salty the Talking Train Engine from Trackmaster.
Salty works down at the docks, which means he hangs out with sailors all day. You can’t hang out with sailors without learning a few choice phrases. Trackmaster collected all of those juicy nautical terms and recorded them for your child! All little Johnny has to do is push the button on Salty’s head and he can "hear salty talk." Now he’s ready for a fulfilling career in the merchant marines!
I discovered Salty on top of the asparagus on a refrigerated case at my local Wal*mart. I’m not certain how Salty came to be sitting on the asparagus, but I’m guessing little Johnny followed the directions on the packaging and pressed the button on Salty’s head within earshot of Johnny’s mother. Knowing the greater metropolitan Leavenworth community as I do, his mother probably replied, “What the ^$*$*^%%?! You aren’t bringing that ^&%*$*&^* train into my house!”
Such a chilly reception to an innocent child’s toy.
What a hysterically poor choice in packaging by a children’s toy manufacturer!
