Sunday, March 20, 2011

The Kid Said What?!

Ah, the wonderful world of a child’s imagination. It is truly a blessing to behold. You can learn a lot when you sit quietly and listen to a child at play. You might hear your young man hum the Thomas the Tank Engine theme song as he sets up his wooden railway. You might delight to the sound of the “clickety-clack” as his trains race down the track. You’ll be enthralled by a thrilling tale as one lone dockside diesel engine rudely pushes other characters, shouting, “Get in line, you %$#*@%#^$* freight cars! What the *&%$& are you waiting for?”

Where did your angel learn such language? Chances are, from you! Because you bought him

Salty the Talking Train Engine from Trackmaster.

Salty works down at the docks, which means he hangs out with sailors all day. You can’t hang out with sailors without learning a few choice phrases. Trackmaster collected all of those juicy nautical terms and recorded them for your child! All little Johnny has to do is push the button on Salty’s head and he can "hear salty talk."  Now he’s ready for a fulfilling career in the merchant marines!

I discovered Salty on top of the asparagus on a refrigerated case at my local Wal*mart. I’m not certain how Salty came to be sitting on the asparagus, but I’m guessing little Johnny followed the directions on the packaging and pressed the button on Salty’s head within earshot of Johnny’s mother. Knowing the greater metropolitan Leavenworth community as I do, his mother probably replied, “What the ^$*$*^%%?! You aren’t bringing that ^&%*$*&^* train into my house!”

Such a chilly reception to an innocent child’s toy.

What a hysterically poor choice in packaging by a children’s toy manufacturer!


Some Guy said...

Thomas' worst language is either "bust my buffers" or "cinders and ashes". Such innocent terms, unlike Salty.

I'm glad we don't have Salty. Or Cranky. Cranky would probably promote a bad attitude in children.

Brownie said...

You're kidding! Good thing Red no longer likes Thomas the train.

Oklahoma Granny said...

Seriously?! And according to the packaging it's for children 3 and up.

Kid said...

That's funny.

tsinclair said...


Brownie said...

wow. It's quite a compliment that my post inspired such a lengthy comment from you :)

I don't agree with everything you said - but that's okay.

Regarding quoting chapter and verse - I'm happy that my daughter is able to do that; I am not quite able to do it - I know it's in there but it takes me a bit to find it. So I'm happy that she can and, more importantly, it reflects in her attitude and behavior. I agree with not using "chapter and verse" to bludgeon someone else - if you use a verse without the context it loses it's potency.

Arby said...

@Brownie...Cool Beans.

Julie... said...

Howdy Arby! Regarding the foul mouthed train, wonderfully we've outgrown Thomas. But seems to me there was a doll on the market several years ago that said, "Allah is God" or "Paul is dead."

I elaborated on my comment at Brownie's site.
Be forewarned it's a horrific mess grammatically and the mispelled words abound!