Friday, September 4, 2009

If You Give the Girl a Bug

Here’s the smiling Captain, happy to be arriving home from school.

Here’s the smiling Captain, proudly showing the empty peanut butter jar that she brought home from school.
But wait, the jar that the smiling Captain is holding isn’t quite empty. Nope. It has a bug inside of it.
It looks like a ground beetle.

Why did my daughter leave preschool at Apathy Elementary School with a beetle in an empty peanut butter jar? Nobody knows. I asked Captain Chaos why she had a bug in a jar. She didn’t know. I asked the para who walked Miss Chaos out to the van why the Boss' "Mini Me" had a bug in a jar. She had no idea.

“Captain Chaos has been in therapy all day. We really haven’t seen much of her. She came walking down the hall with the jar in her hand.”

Soooooooo, what are they teaching my daughter in preschool? Why does she have a bug in a jar? And how does having a bug in jar meet her therapeutic needs?

The world may never know.


My conversation with my daughter concerning her new best friend wasn’t particularly fruitful.

Captain, why do you have a bug in a jar?

“I don’t know.”

Captain, do you want to put that underneath your mother’s pillow?


Do you want to feed it to the chickens?


Can we let the chickens eat your bug?”


That beetle isn’t coming into our house!

“Yes, it is!”

No, it isn’t. You can play with the beetle in the back yard.

“I want to put it under mom’s pillow.”

Never joke with your daughter about putting live bugs under her mother's pillow. Twice since arriving at home, I’ve caught the girl walking towards my bedroom with her Spongopus verticalis.   Both times I shagged the young lass out into the back yard.  I heard her walking towards tha back door saying, "Sorry, bug, but daddy won't let me put it under mom's pillow."

If that thing ends up in my bed I'll never hear the end of it.


CrossView said...

At least you know the school is keeping an eye on the Captain. Oh wait! You don't! LOL!

I hope we'll get the update when the bug does end up under your wife's pillow. When you're well enough to type, that is.

Kathleen said...

You lost me along the way. When the school officials said they hadn't seen much of her all day, she was under SOMEONE'S supervision, right? Or was she just wandering the halls collecting beetles?

Linda said...

Just found your blog. Enjoyed it.
~am waiting to learn why the bug...

The_Kid said...

Arby, I see we drive the same vehicle. Same colors as well.

I added these to mine which allow me to crack the windows when it's raining and get some fresh air.