Thursday, September 3, 2009

Keep Your Fingers to Yourself and Everyone Will Be Happy

For an offensive lineman, fingers aren’t all that important. Consider Washington Redskins’ offensive tackle Jon Jansen. In 2005 he played with a broken thumb on each hand. "Obviously, I would rather play with 10 good fingers," Jansen said. "But four on each hand will do" (Washington Post). For the rest of us, fingers are rather important.

The AP is reporting that an Obamacare supporter bit off the finger of an Obamacare protester at a Ventura County health care event. I suppose that’s the appropriate setting if you’re into biting off body parts from your political adversaries.  The article states that “about 100 people demonstrating in favor of health care reforms rallied Wednesday night on a street corner. One protester walked across the street to confront about 25 counter-demonstrators.”

That was not a smart thing to do. If he had remained on his side of the street, everyone would still have their body parts attached in the manner God intended, and no one would be on the lam.

The article goes on to say that the biter “got into an argument and fist fight, during which he bit off the left pinky of a 65-year-old man who opposed health care reform.”

At least we know that the finger in question wasn’t THE FINGER. Kudos to the phalanxic amputee.

“A hospital spokeswoman says the man lost half the finger, but doctors reattached it and he was sent home the same night.”

Phew! I had to wait until the end of the article to discover whether or not the biter was a spitter or a swallower. Apparently this was an act of passion and not a weird cannibalistic ritual on a busy Ventura County street.

The BIG question is, will a sixty-five year old man have his finger re-attached under Obamacare, or will he be told to take a pill because at his age he really doesn't need a left pinky finger anyway?


Autumn and Haley said...

Why am I not surprised?

CrossView said...

At 65 he wouldn't need that finger. Cheaper just to give him a Band-Aid and save all those taxpayer dollars for important stuff. 'Cause the government loves you.

Michelle said...

Hmmm, if it was military medicine, he would have been given a prescription of motrine and sent home. OF course, they do that with all of us. I live Obamacare now, can't stand it.

Michelle said...

ps-how's the weigh ins going?

Arby said...

208 as of last Saturday. I've lost 34 pounds. I have 28 left to lose.

Kathleen said...

If we had Obamacare, the man would still be waiting to get in to see a surgeon to get the finger reattached.

How long do fingers last on ice anyway?

Paul said...

My pinkie, my pinkie, my kingdom for a pinkie but I guess he has that terrible Medicare a “Single-payer health care insurance” what a hypocrite. Did the little pinkie cry "Wee-wee-wee!" all the way home? It real should have been his right pinky finger that would have been a better story. They are haters not debaters.

Jake said...

Yes, actually, under Obama, the doctor would have put him to sleep. That is what you all think, right? Goodness, this is good comedy.