Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The OCD Lawn Boy

We’ve often joked about Major Havoc being the child who puts the “O” in OCD. He does tend to get a little testy when things aren’t just so (which is downright baffling when you see the condition of his room). When the boy gets something in his noggin’ he doesn’t let it go. Yesterday it was the length of the grass in our backyard.

“Dad, can we mow the lawn?”


“Well, I want to be able to play in the back yard.”


“It’s hard to do when the grass is long.”


“We need to mow. Do you remember when I asked you yesterday if we can mow the lawn?”

Yes, I do.


He was correct.  This was day two of the great lawn care embroilment of aught-ten. We had held a similar conversation the previous day.  I wonder if his mother is putting him up to this.

I looked out to my back yard and admired the patches of lawn surrounded by large bare spots. A quarter of my back yard is zoysia grass that takes a long time to turn green. Half of the grass is just a general assortment of prairie crab grasses and those weeds that the chickens will not eat. The other quarter is dirt. I’ve often been told that zoysia grass is the wonder grass that spreads aggressively, chokes out every other grass, and provides a nice green lawn. I’ve lived here for five years. I’m still waiting.

The Major studies Saxon Math 2. Right now he is learning how to use a ruler to measure things. I’m considering sending him into the back yard with a ruler to measure the length of each blade of grass. If there is a blade taller than 3” I’ll mow. If there isn’t, the Major will have gained valuable training for his career as a code enforcement officer, patrolling some unsuspecting community, measuring the height of their lawns, and issuing citations to people with unruly grass.

Whoever said homeschooling doesn’t prepare children for the real world?


Teacher Mommy said...

Hmmm. Maybe you should get him one of those little non-motorized push mowers and make that part of his P.E.

Papa Bear said...

So THAT's where all those inspector types come from!

Goldilocks, on the other hand, can't take "Yes" for an answer.

TobyBo said...

*note to self: Keep the Highly OCD Miss Dog Lover far, far away from the Major*

Ann said...

Hard to play in it - I love thicker, longer grass. But, you can't expect a kid to see it that way. :) Plant and Garden Blog

Becky said...

Enjoyed your post very much! We have zoyzia grass, as well. Sounds like you are describing my grass... if you can call it grass!

The Pirate Mom said...

Here's a little mowing story for you...

The other day Big D sent him to the backyard to clean up the dog poop so he could mow. Dirty H. came back in and told us that he couldn't find any. When I asked him why he thought he didn't find any (expecting him to say that he didn't look very thoroughly), he said, "Well, I guess Clara hasn't pooped in a while." Needless to say, I went and searched and found SIX piles for him to clean up. My point is that when the Major is done measuring, perhaps he could come here and do poop patrol...?

The Pirate Mom said...

Oops... by 'him' in my first sentence, I meant Dirty Harry.

TheRextras said...

'O' is relative, ain't it?

Kathleen said...

Why don't you have him calculate the percentage each of dirt/zoysia/weed patches?