Friday, April 19, 2013

It's Time To Write Again

I've had the audacity to dedicate most of my time each day to teaching my children.  That has left very little time for writing a blog.  I know.  I need to get my priorities straight.  I've neglected this place for too long.

Since last December, all of my writing has been for Home Educating Family Magazine and their accompanying website, Home Educating Family Association.  I was blessed with the opportunity to write a regular column for their magazine, and a monthly blog entry for their website.  The magazine comes out four times each year.  The blog entry is the first Monday of each month.  This opportunity is a dream come true. 

I've been struggling a bit when faced with selecting topics to write about, as well as finding my usual style for presenting my ideas. The problem is that I haven't been writing enough. Writing is like any other activity: you have to practice if you want to get better.  There's no better place to practice than write here. 

Melissa commented to me the other night that some of my funnier blog posts were answers to questions presented in memes that flew around the blogosphere a few years ago.  She found one online and posted it to my Facebook wall.  It was a public challenge.  I picked up the gauntlet, tucked it into my belt, and sat at the keyboard.  It was fun. Here goes...

ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT? Some people have cool scars from bar fights or spectacular car wrecks.  I have a scar on my right forearm from a box of fish.  But it was a big, heavy box of fish. It had been shipped into Kanas City from Boston, and when I picked it up from the belt loader as it came off the plane I sliced open my arm on the corner of the box.  It was so cold out that I didn’t feel the cut, so I shrugged my shoulders and kept on working.  Apparently, it needed stitches. 

WHAT’S YOUR WORST FEAR?  Being eaten by a shark.  In my underwear.  I don’t know how the shark gets into my underwear, but it’s still pretty frightening.  (It's an old joke, but be honest. You smiled,)


ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?  No. I can only smoke one joint at a time.

FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?  Fitz.  “Do you like it?”  “Yeah, it Fitz.”

SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:  There.  I said it.  Out loud.  Everyone in the kitchen heard me, too.  Bet you wish you were here, don’t you?  I guess you’ll never know.

FAVORITE QUOTE?  “Don’t believe everything you read on the internet simply because there’s a quote and a picture next to it.” – Abraham Lincoln

HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF YOUR HOME COUNTRY?  I’ve been to Japan, Guam, the Philippines, Australia, New Zealand, Antarctica, Fiji, and the exotic Diego Garcia in the Indian Ocean. 

MET ANYONE FAMOUS? I met former Chicago Mayor Jane Byrne’s husband.  He gave me an autograph that reads, “You should try my pork chops!”   He forgot to include his address and phone number, the cheapskate.

FIRST JOB?  I delivered newspapers written in Polish to little old ladies who smelled like cabbage and tipped me with rotten fruit and Halls Mentho-Lyptus.   They meant well.

HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY?  Yes, and if my wife ever gets pregnant, there’s a urologist who’s gonna get a beat down.

WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?  The back of my head.  It usually comes when people say, “Hey, look!  He’s leaving!”


HAVE YOU EVER REALLY AND TRULY HAD A BEST FRIEND? Yes.  And I was smart enough to marry her.

WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR?  It varies, depending on whether you are looking at my nose or my ears.

EYE COLOR?  I color.  You color.  We all color.  Coloring is fun!

FAVORITE RESTAURANT? That place where my wife sits across from me, a cold beer sits between us, and the children sit at home with a babysitter.  I LOVE that place!

PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS? I love playing with musical instruments.  Oboes are surprisingly aerodynamic when you don't have a javelin, and the bean bag toss into a tuba bell is fun, too.

RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?  Two night stands: one for my side of the bed, and one for hers.  We can’t share just one night stand.  It wouldn’t be good for our relationship.

WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT?  Four boxes of Life cereal and a package of hot dogs. 

WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?  Milton’s Paradise Lost.  It’s a delightful little tale where a man tries to justify the ways of God to man (as if that was really needed), and one of his characters admonishes another not to try to understand things that beyond his understanding. 

1 comment:

Rose ASL said...

Lol. I have missed your insanity. :P