Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Five Minutes in the Car


Yes, Major?

"What does 'bitch' mean?"

Where did you learn that word?

"You know... I was justi...justi..."


"Yeah, jusfstified. When I was five. You know, five. Like when I was five last year."

Go on.

"Raising cain, I spit in your eye. That's yucky. I won't spit in your eye, daddy."

I appreciate that.



"What does 'raising cain' mean?"

It means causing trouble. Like when you fight with your brother and you two make a lot of noise. I think it comes from the Bible, from when Cain killed Abel.

"Cain killed Abel?"


"That wasn't good."

No, it wasn't.



"What's a Bible?"

It's God's word written in a book for us to read. That's the book you write on when you fill in the attendance card at church. The brown one.


Yes. It's not just a clip board. It tells us how to live our lives. I have a children's Bible that you can read, now that you're a big boy reading books all by yourself. It tells us how to be good. It tells us who Jesus is.


Yeah, Jesus.


Yes, Major?

"Who is Jesus Christ our corn?"

Excuse me?

"Jesus Christ our corn. That's what they say in church."

Is that what it sounds like to you?

"Yeah. Pastor says 'Jesus Christ our corn'."

He says "Jesus Christ our Lord."

"Our Lord?"


"Not our corn?"

Jesus is the bread of life, but I don't think that bread was made from cornmeal.


Never mind.

"Okay, but you never told me."

Never told you what?

"What 'bitch' means."

It means we listen to too much Elton John.

"But I like Crocodile Rock."

So do I, but I think we need to listen to some Wiggles.

"Okay, dad."


Kathleen said...

Way to redirect, Arby, way to redirect!! Gotta love a five year old!

Nikowa@KHA said...

oh yes, wiggles it is! :)

Kids have the cutest trains of thought....MUCH like my own! LOL

Brownie said...

Yeah... you have to keep your brain a little loose to listen to the young ones!

Brownie said...

Yeah - you have to keep your brains a little loose when you listen to the young ones!

Kellie said...

Hey Arby,

I'm always fond of the stream of consciousness/ trains of thought approach to blogging. You don't get much more real...or funny...than that.

I'm slowly getting back into the blogging venue. I have a new site: It's a work in progress, but hopefully soon I'll have it rollin'. Stop by when you have the chance! =)

Linda said...

In a hotel room in Wichita (So...are you coming??). Just tried to read this post to Darcy. I was laughing so hard I couldn't read it! Had to pass her the computer. It's funny when you read it to's even funnier when you read it out loud!! ROTFL!!!