Tuesday, November 17, 2009

I Hate It When She Does That!

The phone rang at 12:30 in the morning. The Boss and I were sitting on the couch in our former home in Missouri, watching TV. She quickly grabbed the cordless phone between us, the phone she gave me as Christmas present two years ago, and said “hello” with a big smile. I looked at her with a puzzled expression. When the phone rings at 12:30 in the morning it’s either a wrong number or bad news, but this call was obviously not bad news. She looked back at me as she stood up, shook her head in annoyance, and walked out of the room. Twenty minutes later she returned, her conversation over.

“Who was that?” I asked.

“An old friend from high school,” she replied.

“An old friend?” I asked. “What’s his name?” I knew it was a guy.

“Paul.” She spoke her answer matter-of-factly. I could see that she was struggling to suppress a smile.

“Paul. How long has Paul been calling you at 12:30 in the morning?” I asked. It was rare that I was awake with her at that time of the morning, and I knew from her reaction when she answered the phone that she was expecting it to ring and was very happy that it did.

The Boss responded by walking into the kitchen. She stepped up to the kitchen sink and started to wash the dinner dishes that didn’t fit into the dish washer. I leaned against the counter next to her, crossed my arms over my chest, and looked around. The room felt comfortable. I knew I had spent a lot of time there but I did not recognize it as any place I had ever lived.

We stood there quietly while she washed, listening to the sound of the running water and gentle clanking of dishes. Minutes passed before she glanced at me. “He’s just giving me some attention.”

“You’re having an affair,” I challenged, feeling the threat swelling in the center of my chest. “Planning on leaving?”

A heated exchange ensued, the kind of verbal fencing that takes place between a husband and a wife when one person is angry and the other doesn’t want to participate. She stopped washing and started to dry her hands on a towel.

I realized that my head hurt. It had been hurting for days, and it was genuinely starting to annoy me. And that was the clue that I should open my eyes. The alarm clock on the nightstand read 5:02 a.m., and I knew that I was awake for the day.

The entire conversation was a dream. I should have recognized the clues, those things that only make sense in a dream world, such as the house in Missouri with the cordless phones she bought for me after we moved to Kansas, a kitchen I did not recognize, and the Boss doing dishes. My subconscious is an idiot.

Nightmares have been flaring often over the last few weeks. They happen right before I wake up for the day. A few days ago I struggled to rescue a carefree Major Havoc as he merrily chatted while walking through an alligator infested zoo enclosure in the middle of a family room in a house we were thinking of buying. That’s just crazy stuff. My kids don’t walk anywhere. They run.

So, I’m up for the day.

My doctor chuckled yesterday afternoon when he walked into the exam room. He was reading my symptoms that the nurse had written in my chart. He glanced at Captain Chaos, smiled, and said, “I wonder who gave this to dad.” She’s been to the doctor twice in the last two weeks for the same problem that I have: bronchitis with a side of sinus infection.

Why is a parent obligated to catch whatever their children have one week after the children’s antibiotics kick in and heal them? 

At least I’m feeling better with pharmaceuticals.


Teacher Mommy said...

NASTY nightmare. Very, very nasty. Freud would have a heyday with you.

TobyBo said...

awwww.... get better soon...

CrossView said...

I love those kinds of nightmares. I wake up mad at Guy. And I wake up Guy to let him know I'm mad at him. And he looks a little befuddled as I explain to him why I'm mad and what he did since he was there beside me the whole time. Yeah, GUy loooooves those nightmares, too. But I feel better. I thought only women did that. LOL!

Glad you got drugs. Drugs are nice. (In case anyone gets the wrong idea: I'm talking about the legally prescribed kind when you need them.... ;o))

Is Paul good looking?

Arby said...

Yeah, uh, Crossview, only women do what you described. I let the Boss sleep. I wasn’t mad at her. And you’d have to ask her whether or not Paul was cute. Maybe she’ll leave that answer herself.

CrossView said...

ROFL! Sorry! I should have let out the "what I do" part and just said that I thought only women had those kinds of dreams. I was pretty sure that you didn't wake Guy up over it... =P

Eat, Fart and Bark said...

I know those kind of dreams. I had them more often when Commander's coworker on the therapy team was a cute unmarried female. I was home pregnant, feeling fat, with hormones raging. I'd wake up crying, which woke him up, which ended the night being cuddled and getting his pillow wet.
Glad to hear you got the drugs, man. Is your head detached now like a balloon?

The Boss said...


I wish I knew if he was cute. Seems unfair that I have to "Do the time" without "Doing the crime".

I have to admit though, that he handles these dreams much better than I do. I didn't know he'd had a bad dream until I woke up at 7am and he'd already been awake for 2 hours.

I wake up angry and, knowing I can't be mad at him for something he didn't do, still want to vent.

Usually I'll just put my cold toes on his thighs and wake him up. :D

CrossView said...

Boss, He was cute. He had to have been! ;o)

I never stay mad at Guy for it. I just wake up that way. Well, not really mad so much as defensive and hurt. Covered up by mad.... I wake him up, in all honesty, so he can hold me and reassure me that I'm just a dork who had a bad dream.

I like the cold toes bit, I may have to remember that one. =D

The Boss said...

I understand. I wake him up when I've had a nightmare (kids are being abducted by aliens, that sort of thing). That's when I make him wake up and hug me.

But if he's done something in my dream to make me angry, I just stew on it until he wakes up. Then I let him have it. ;)

Arby said...

Note to self: never let these two women meet. You two scare me.

Papa Bear said...

Abducted by aliens, then replaced by alien look-alikes? Actually, with my kids, that would explain a lot!

Khourt said...

Hey I just got your comment. We are alive and kickin. Ive been without internet but Ill post a quick update.

Kathleen said...

Maybe you're pregnant. Weeks before I would ever get the little + sign on the stick, I knew I was prego because of my weird dreams.

Like the Boss and Crossview, though, I have certainly given my hubby the cold shoulder a number of times on account of my dreams!

Kathleen said...

Btw, just noticed your changed profile pic. Since your short stint on FB, I can sure notice your weight loss!! Congrats!!

CrossView said...

Boss, I wonder why I've never had any dreams involving my kids and aliens? Though I've had some doozies involving my kids. *shudder*

I wonder what *they* think when we've awakened them with these dreams where we know they're guilty? And where do they get the patience to deal with it? I'd be cranky. Just sayin'...

And don't they look cute when they're all confused in the middle of the night? You could almost feel sorry for them if they weren't so guilty - having just been caught and all.

And Arby? I've long known that I'd have a blast if I met your wife. From your posts on her, I'd say we have much in common. ;o)

And I'm with Kathleen; I want to know if you're pregnant? =P

Linda said...

Arby, if you are pregnant, we're all here for you. ;o)
My poor husband has been clobbered more than once in the middle of the night for being in the wrong place in a dream. The cold toes thing works too though.

GingerB said...

Oh dear, I just woke up yesterday feeling guilty for having a liaison with Obama. I like Obama quite a lot, but I wish I hadn't had to spend a few minutes feeling guilty for cheatin' on Lord Honey until I realized I hadn't done anything real.